Kody Brown Feels There's 'So Much Left Unsaid, So Much Left Undone' After Son Garrison's Suicide

Garrison, the son of Kody Brown, and ex-wife Janelle, was discovered lifeless at his Flagstaff, Arizona residence by brother Gabriel on March 5, 2024. His demise got here at a time when he, a few of his siblings and his father, Kody, had been nonetheless in a interval of estrangement, following a shifting household dynamic over COVID protocols.

As Janelle spoke about plans to bury his ashes in Wyoming — the place her mom, who was married to Kody’s father, is buried — she stated the memorial for him there would coincide with a reunion of types. She added that she additionally bought a plot subsequent to Garrison’s.

“The weekend that we’re selecting to go to Wyoming is an enormous time in Wyoming, the place like all of the hometown individuals come again. So it is type of already like an enormous reunion for the small city that Cody grew up in,” she defined, earlier than including that Garrison’s demise “has led to rather a lot some therapeutic of relationships, which has been good.”

Meri Brown added that, following his demise, she was capable of see “all the youngsters” collectively — one thing that hadn’t occurred in ages. “Everyone was collectively, apart from one,” she stated by tears, “And it took him passing to get all people collectively.”

“That simply is heartbreaking,” she added, “however, additionally, that is so like Garrison.”

For Kody, he stated that grief “hits you in waves” — and, when it hits him, he “cannot run from it” and he “can’t forestall it from affecting me.” He additionally shared that, “out of the blue,” he’ll be overcome with what appears like an “anxiousness assault” — explaining it as “only a deep, overwhelming feeling that I am going to by no means see him once more. There’s a lot left unsaid. So a lot left undone.”

As Kody, his children with remaining spouse Robyn Brown, and Robyn herself went to Wyoming collectively earlier than Garrison’s graveside memorial, he confirmed the youngsters the place he grew up — placing a extra uplifting spin on the intense journey. Regardless of his cheery demeanor, Robyn expressed concern for her husband in confessionals.

“I’m anxious about Kody through the graveside and the way he’ll deal with it, and I am additionally actually anxious about afterwards,” she defined. “I’ve seen him grieving. I’ve held house for him whereas he is grieving. We have grieved collectively. It would not actually ever go away. Typically a demise can actually change an individual. I simply hope he can discover these wholesome methods to grieve.”

“I really feel just like the graveside service will likely be very unhappy,” she stated, getting choked up. “It is bitter than we’re laying him to relaxation, however it’s additionally as a result of we love him. That day is about him.”

Of the journey to Wyoming, Kody stated it has been a mixture of mourning and “doing blissful issues,” so that they’re capable of “place confidence in the hereafter and in our personal futures and our personal lives.” Getting teared up, Kody added {that a} poster of his son will at all times be on the wall in his storage — one that can go away him at all times questioning “surprise what was missed sooner or later that will have been.”

“It is a sport of consciousness to maneuver with grief, to make your blood candy as a substitute of bitter from the ache,” he added.

Elsewhere within the hour, Christine Brown opened up about her personal distance from Garrison earlier than his demise, stated there “had been so many instances he was alive the place I would not discuss to him for a few weeks.” Trying again, she stated, “Typically a month would go by and I would not contact base. That is a tragedy. I do not need that to occur with the opposite children too.”

As she stated she was “scared to neglect him,” she pushed again at anybody suggesting he is “in a greater place now” — telling her husband, David, “No, he is not. The higher place is with us. I simply miss him so fierce.”

“I am by no means going to be a grandma to his children,” she informed David. “I am not going to see him get married. He will not be there for [her son] Paedon’s marriage ceremony. Paedon and I had been speaking about that, and he is like, he was presupposed to be my finest man.”

Her husband insisted they’d get by this collectively.

Sister Wives airs Sundays on TLC.

In the event you or somebody is combating despair or has had ideas of harming themselves or taking their very own life, get assist. The Nationwide Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) offers 24/7, free, confidential help for individuals in misery.